What Is Perimenopause — And Why Did I Suddenly Feel Like a Different Person at 40?

I remember thinking it was strange how exact it felt.

I turned 40… and almost overnight, something shifted.

There wasn’t a dramatic event. No major life change. No crisis. Just this quiet but undeniable sense that something was off inside me.

The first thing I noticed was the brain fog.

Not just “I’m tired” fog. But searching-for-words fog. Walking-into-a-room-and-forgetting-why fog. It scared me more than I wanted to admit. There were moments I genuinely wondered if I was developing early dementia. I didn’t say that out loud often — but the thought was there.

At the same time, my anxiety started increasing. I felt waves of rage during certain times of the month that didn’t match the situation in front of me. My motivation — especially for working out — disappeared. And that’s not like me.

It felt like I was a shell of myself.

Like I was watching my life from slightly outside my body.

There were moments I just didn’t feel like me.

I wasn’t crash dieting. I wasn’t overdoing cardio. I wasn’t ignoring my health. If anything, I started pushing harder. Reading more. Testing more. Trying to understand what was happening.

I ran hormone testing, including a DUTCH test. I also ran a mycotoxin test because I had this intuition something deeper might be contributing to how I felt. In my case, mold exposure was part of the picture — and I’ll share more about that journey in a separate post because it deserves its own conversation.

But even beyond that piece, something else was clearly happening.

In 2022, I read The Essential Oils Menopause Solution: Alleviate Your Symptoms and Reclaim Your Energy, Sleep, Sex Drive, and Metabolism by Dr. Mariza Snyder. That book helped me connect the dots in a way no one had before. What I was experiencing wasn’t random. It wasn’t weakness. It wasn’t a motivation problem.

It was perimenopause.

And when I finally had a name for it, I felt relief.

Validation.

And honestly, the more I’ve learned since then, the more passionate I’ve become about educating women earlier. Not angry at the women before us — they didn’t know either — but frustrated that we aren’t taught what to expect in our 30s so we can proactively support our bodies before symptoms feel overwhelming.

Looking back, I see that version of myself as a little naïve — but also resilient. I barely cracked the door open to this new phase before I started learning and adjusting. That season taught me something powerful:

Our bodies are adaptable.
We are resilient.
Healing takes time — but change is possible.

And it changed the way I coach women forever.

What Is Perimenopause?

Perimenopause simply means “around menopause.” It’s the transitional phase leading up to menopause, which is officially defined as 12 consecutive months without a period.

For many women, this phase begins in their late 30s or early 40s. And despite what we’ve been told, it doesn’t always start with skipped periods.

Often, it starts with subtle neurological and emotional shifts — brain fog, anxiety, irritability, disrupted sleep, loss of motivation.

The reason it can feel so confusing is because perimenopause is not a steady, predictable decline in hormones.

It’s fluctuation.

Why Does It Feel So Sudden?

During your reproductive years, estrogen and progesterone follow a relatively predictable rhythm.

In perimenopause, that rhythm becomes erratic.

Estrogen can surge higher than it used to and then dip lower. Progesterone often begins declining earlier, which means less calming support for the nervous system. The communication between the brain and ovaries becomes less consistent — almost like a thermostat that overshoots and undershoots the target temperature.

Estrogen doesn’t just regulate your menstrual cycle. It influences brain chemistry, memory, mood regulation, metabolism, insulin sensitivity, inflammation, sleep, and cardiovascular health.

Progesterone supports calmness, sleep depth, and stress resilience.

When these hormones fluctuate, your brain feels it.
Your nervous system feels it.
Your metabolism feels it.

That “I don’t feel like myself” sensation so many women describe? It’s often neurological and hormonal — not psychological weakness.

This is also why high-functioning, healthy women suddenly feel:

• More anxious

• More emotionally reactive

• More forgetful

• Less motivated

• More sensitive to stress

• Frustrated by unexplained weight changes

It’s not a character flaw.

It’s physiology.

Why Understanding This Changes Everything

When you believe it’s a motivation problem, you push harder. You add more workouts. You restrict more food. You assume you’ve lost discipline.

When you think it’s laziness, you criticize yourself.

When you assume it’s simply aging, you quietly accept decline.

But when you understand that what you’re experiencing is hormonal fluctuation, something shifts internally. You stop attacking yourself and start adjusting your strategy.

Instead of pushing harder, you begin supporting your body differently. You recognize that blood sugar stability matters more. You realize muscle preservation becomes essential. You protect your sleep instead of sacrificing it. You become more intentional about stress because you understand your system is more sensitive to cortisol in this phase.

You move from fighting your body to working with it.

And that’s when things begin to stabilize.

Not instantly. Not perfectly. But progressively.

If you are reading this and quietly thinking, This sounds like me, I want you to know you are not alone — and you are not broken.

This is exactly the work I do with women navigating perimenopause. We create sustainable strategies that support hormones, metabolism, strength, and long-term health without extremes or burnout.

If you’d like personalized guidance, I’m currently taking clients. You can book a free 20-minute discovery call where we’ll talk through what you’re experiencing and see if coaching is a good fit.

And in my next post, I’ll walk through what we can actually do to support hormone fluctuations — including lifestyle shifts and key foundations that make a real difference.

This season isn’t the beginning of decline.

It’s an invitation to adjust.

And with the right support, it can become one of your strongest chapters yet.

This Blog Post is for educational and informational purposes only and solely as a self-help tool for your own use. I am not providing medical, psychological, or nutrition therapy advice. You should not use this information to diagnose or treat any health problems or illnesses without consulting your own medical practitioner. Always seek the advice of your own medical practitioner and/or mental health provider about your specific health situation. For my full Disclaimer, please go to www.sandraadamswellness.com/new-page-1